I helped Jake and Becca put up their Christmas lights. Well I helped very little, but they put them up amazingly. Me, I’m an expert watcher. Anyone can vouch for that. So I went through Becca and Jake’s pictures while they weren’t looking and I stole a couple. Shhhh. I thought they were the perfect pictures of them, and I wanted to share .
Happy Thanksgiving everyone. It’s the day to give thanks so I wanted to individually thank my readers, to whom I am grateful.
Becca-To the greatest friend who hates material printed with shoes and purses but loves the old classic movies. You are truly the loveliest and I am extremely grateful to know you. I may be dead right now if I hadn’t. Thank you for being my number one.
Jake-To my best friend who loves the drink and hates America’s Next Top Model and fabric stores. Not to mention my oldest friend who basically introduced me to the most incredible friends I have now. The people I call my family. Thank you for being my brother.
Mallory-To an awesome photographer who continually inspires me. Thanks for listening to my bullshit all day long. You are so important to me and I am very thankful we went to Wendover because that kicked off this life lasting friendship. Plus if it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t have this blog. So thank Mallmsy you lucky people.
Sarah-To a true loose tooth who is my craft guru. If I need an idea, you are there with several and you’ll search exhaustively for more. To your good spelling and kick-ass blog. I’m very thankful I have a good friend like you, who’ll let me bug her all day long.
Jen-To my number one source of laughter at work. You have been such a great friend. Always giving me rides home. Always getting my ice and drinks and snacks. I can tell you anything crazy or weird about myself and know you won’t say an unkind word. Thanks for everything you do for me and letting me lean on you.
Desiree-To the lady with good taste out the wazoo. You have really been a treat to work with. Always great with the sarcastic comebacks. I can always trust the sarcastic the most. Thanks for listening to my rants and competing in the great laze-off. You are truly a great friend.
Lisa-To the sensible and fantastic other loose tooth. Who knows her musicals as well as I do. And dispenses great advice, particularly in the zombie region. To the lover of DBo and library books. Thanks for all the great craft ideas. And hilarious stories like pink scrabble. I look forward to finally meeting you in person because we are kindred spirits.
Marci-To the closest perfect woman. Beautiful, unbelievably kind, cooks brilliantly. You are pure and it’s refreshing. Thank you for being so nice to me. The kind-hearted is a dying breed and I’m grateful to know at least one.
Tifany-To my theatrical sweet. You make my life more interesting. To the giggles after each sentence and your hilarious naivety. I could live in your hugs. Thank you for making me laugh and being so great to me.
Dorise-To one hilarious chicky-pie. You are so fun to work with and am constantly saddened by how far away from me you sit. I love going to Salt Lake shopping with you. You are unafraid to be yourself and it’s very inspiring to be myself. Thank you for being my friend, you are truly one whom everyone adores.
Brent(Bob)-To a trickster boss who makes working fun. From your great Muttley laughter to your evil eye. Thanks for giving my the right answers when I need them and for making our work atmosphere light and comfortable to work in. I call you friend.
Melissa(Meryl)-To our newest mommy at work. From Derringer Meryl to your other anime characters. To your contagious laughter. Thanks for putting up with all of us crazies. Hey! Wait! You’re a crazy too. Thanks for being my friend.
Kevin-To my php genius. From an embarrassingly merry house to that’s what she said. Thanks for being there for me.
To those I have not mentioned. It’s only because I never realized you read this blog. Maybe you should start commenting so I know. Hahahaha! Really I love comments! Seriously though. Thank you for reading. Hopefully I can keep this up for many years to come. HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!!
Saturday Becca and I went to her mom’s and worked on secret stuff. It was great fun. Then we headed back to her house to meet up with Jake. Then Sara and Tyler(who are awesome and everyone loves) came over for a great night of drunk facts-in-five. My favorite category was porno names. Haha!! Then Sunday afternoon we(Jake, Becca and I) met up with Tif and Mallory for coffee at Bad Ass. Then we all went to Borders. Now Borders is like church to me so it was fitting we go on Sunday. I found some awesome books: The Dangerous Book For Boys, The Daring Book For Girls, and Stephen Colbert’s I Am America(And So Can You!). Actually Jake found these books, but he has excellent taste in reading material and can always depend on him for said things. Then it was off to Dee’s for dinner. I had a burger and fries while being crammed into a booth. Everyone knows I hate booths because I’m so fat that I feel very much like I’m in vise grips. Then when Tifany makes us laugh by mistakenly insulting Mallory (and I mean we laughed hard) I felt like a juicer being squeezed of all his Jeremy juice which made the moment bittersweet(Also that may have sounded perverted with the Jeremy juice talk. I mean my guts, not anything, uhhhhh…..how do I say this delicately. Ah I know. With a link.) Anyway, we went back to Jake and Becca’s for a fun-filled night of good, old-fashioned television with such gems as Dexter, The Simpsons, and Flight Of The Conchords among others. Then the fun ended. But ah what a glorious weekend!!!
Inspired by my friend, Jake, this is one of my favorite Charles Bukowski poems.
One For Old Snaggle-Tooth
I know a woman
who keeps buying puzzles
chinese
puzzles
blocks
wires
pieces that finally fit
into some order.
she works it out
mathematically
she solves all her
puzzles
lives down by the sea
puts sugar out for the ants
and believes
ultimately
in a better world.
her hair is white
she seldom combs it
her teeth are snaggled
and she wears loose shapeless
coveralls over a body most
women would wish they had.
for many years she irritated me
with what I considered her
eccentricities—
like soaking eggshells in water
(to feed the plants so that
they’d get calcium).
but finally when I think of her
life
and compare it to other lives
more dazzling, original
and beautiful
I realize that she has hurt fewer
people than anybody I know
(and by hurt I mean hurt).
she has had some terrible times,
times when maybe I should have
helped her more
for she is the mother of my only
child
and we were once great lovers,
but she has come through
like I said
she has hurt fewer people than
anybody I know,
and if you look at it like that,
well,
she has created a better world.
she has won.
Frances, this poem is for
you.
Please don’t sue me, oh great publishers of Charles Bukowski stuff.
Monday April 2 -
[11:54] Mallory: Well… YOU CAN COME ON FRIDAY NIGHT!
[11:54] Mallory: WOOT YEAH! WOOO!
[11:54] Mallory: i might be full of sugar.
[11:54] hobbes8u: Oh dear
[11:55] Mallory: lol im sorry i will calm down.
[11:55] hobbes8u: no no it’s okay
[11:55] hobbes8u: So you want me to go to Salt Lake Friday huh
[11:55] hobbes8u: You don’t want to visit beautiful downtown Provo
[11:55] Mallory: yeah yeah we were gonna go to a moovie.
[11:55] hobbes8u: hshs
Tuesday April 3 -
[12:05] hobbes8u: Now you realize I don’t get off til 7pm
[12:06] Mallory: A nine o’clock movie it is!
[12:06] Mallory: or a ten oclocker.
[12:06] Mallory: Ooh we could do dinner and then a movie.
[12:06] Mallory: yeah yeah yeah
[12:07] Mallory: it’ll be great
[12:16] hobbes8u: So I’m coming up Friday night to go to the movies
[12:16] hobbes8u: Are you going
[12:21] Becca: sorry, jake had to use the computer for a minute.
[12:21] Becca: who are you going to the movies with?
[12:23] hobbes8u: Mallory
[12:23] Becca: ohh.
[12:23] Becca: what movie are you going to see?
[12:25] hobbes8u: I’m not sure
[12:25] hobbes8u: But you MUST go you absolute MUST
[12:28] Becca: what time? i will go.
[17:24] hobbes8u: I’m coming up on Friday to go to the movies with Mallory and others
[17:25] hobbes8u: I told Becca to go and I think Kevin is and maybe you could get off early? :)
[17:25] Jake: I don’t think so…I’m scheduled at work for some training stuff I can’t get out of.
[17:25] hobbes8u: Blast!!
[10:44] Hobbes8u: So are you going to the movies on Friday
[10:45] Kevin: Probably
Wednesday April 4 -
[12:53] Mallory: and it sounds like becca and jake are also coming
[12:53] hobbes8u: and I invited Jake and Becca
[12:53] hobbes8u: Well Jake isn’t
[12:53] hobbes8u: He has to train
[12:53] Mallory: oh
[12:53] Mallory: bummer
[12:53] hobbes8u: At least that’s what he told me last night
[12:54] Mallory: ive only talked to becca about it
[12:54] Mallory: and that was like monday
[12:54] hobbes8u: So what are the plans
[12:54] hobbes8u: dinner and a movie?
[12:54] Mallory: yeah yeah!
[13:24] hobbes8u: Tifany are you going to the movies Friday night?
[13:24] Tifany: Nope.. I have to work :( I’m sorry.
[13:25] hobbes8u: til 11:00?
[13:25] Tifany: No, until about 10
[13:25] hobbes8u: Oh actually the movie starts at 10:30pm at brewvies
[13:25] hobbes8u: Renoo 911
[13:25] Tifany: really?
[13:26] hobbes8u: yep
[13:26] Tifany: I could probably make that then !
[13:27] hobbes8u: Tifany works til 10 on Friday
[13:27] Mallory: well then
[13:27] hobbes8u: She may be able to make it to the movie
[13:27] Mallory: a 1030 movie it is.
[13:27] Mallory: hee.
[13:27] hobbes8u: haah excellent
[13:28] Mallory: :D
[13:50] hobbes8u: Have you eaten at Al Forno’s
[13:51] Mallory: no..
[13:51] Mallory: someone was telling me about it the other day though
[13:51] hobbes8u: That it was good?
[13:51] Mallory: Um.
[13:51] Mallory: they thought so?
[14:31] hobbes8u: alright the evening is planned
[14:31] hobbes8u: Al Fornos and Brewvies
To Becca:
[18:40] hobbes8u: So are those plans okay??
[18:40] hobbes8u: If you print out a coupon on the internet you can get a free bruschetta appetizer
[18:59] hobbes8u: okay well let me know I’m off now
[18:02] hobbes8u: But fellas you’re gonna want that cow bell
Thursday April 5 -
[10:03] Mallory: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR
JEEEERRREEMMMYYYY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUUU
[13:45] hobbes8u: Sweaters are hot
[13:47] Mallory: skirts are kind of cold.
[13:48] hobbes8u: Well I wish I was wearing a skirt, but would it cover my boobies?
[13:48] Mallory: well.. you dont wear a skirt on top..
[13:48] Mallory: so no.
[13:48] hobbes8u: I know but the skirt would have to replace my sweater
[13:48] Mallory: oh.
[13:48] hobbes8u: and lord knows you don’t wear a sweater on the bottom
[13:48] Mallory: well.
[13:49] Mallory: it would cover your boobies i suppose.
[13:49] Mallory: you could wear it like a weird tube top?
[13:49] hobbes8u: Okay then now we are talking
[13:49] hobbes8u: Kind of like a lamp shade
[13:49] hobbes8u: except if any one tries to touch my dimmer they are going to get slapped
To Becca:
[17:46] hobbes8u: If only Becca was home.
[17:46] hobbes8u: Then life would be great
[17:46] hobbes8u: If only Becca was home
[17:47] hobbes8u: I wouldn’t have to contemplate
[17:47] hobbes8u: How crazy my life is
[17:47] hobbes8u: How old I am getting
[17:47] hobbes8u: I’m losing my fizz
[17:48] hobbes8u: From the bottle I keep hitting
[17:49] hobbes8u: B is for Bouquets of babies she wants delivered to her door
[17:49] hobbes8u: E is for the electrocardiogram she had to have when a bouquet of babies was delivered to her door
[17:51] hobbes8u: C is for the Card that was attached to the bouquet of babies
[17:51] hobbes8u: C is for Chip as in More salsa on your chip luv
[17:52] hobbes8u: A is for Algorithms….fuck algorithms
[17:55] hobbes8u: Oh geez
[17:55] hobbes8u: I sure like cheese
[17:55] hobbes8u: Cheese is so yellow
[17:55] hobbes8u: It can make a fella smeelow
[17:56] hobbes8u: smeelow that is
[17:56] hobbes8u: no smellow that is
[17:56] hobbes8u: that’s the rub
[18:30] hobbes8u: Okay text me I want to know if you are coming tomorrow night
[18:30] hobbes8u: Please come
[18:30] hobbes8u: please please please
Friday April 6 -
[09:15] hobbes8u: When do you have to go to lab
[09:15] Mallory: im leaving here at like two
[09:15] Mallory: we are learning studio lighting
[09:15] hobbes8u: How is everything turing out so far
[09:15] Mallory: and somehow i got screwed over and had to take the friday time slot
[09:15] Mallory: thats like from 2-6
[09:21] hobbes8u: Gooses! Geeses! I want my geese to lay gold eggs for Easter
[09:21] hobbes8u: At least a hundred a day
[09:21] hobbes8u: And by the way
[09:22] hobbes8u: I want a feast!
[09:22] hobbes8u: I want a bean feast!
[09:22] Mallory: okay jeeze we’ll have a bean feast
[10:32] Mallory: and so i am excited for tonight
[10:32] Mallory: well,
[10:32] Mallory: EVEN MORE EXCITED
[10:32] Mallory: becuase its been 63 days too long jeremy.
[10:33] Mallory: SIXTY THREE DAYS TOO LONG.
[10:33] hobbes8u: it sure has
[10:33] hobbes8u: DEFINITELY
[10:33] hobbes8u: I haven’t been able to get a hold of Becca
[10:33] Mallory: did kevin work out the picking you up plans?
[10:33] hobbes8u: I’ve texted her, IMed her no responses
[10:34] hobbes8u: Yes I worked it out with Kevin
[10:35] hobbes8u: And Tif’s gonna meet up at the movies
[10:35] hobbes8u: after she gets off at 10
[10:35] Mallory: right right.
[10:36] Mallory: Im sure it’ll all work out
[10:36] Mallory: hee.
[10:36] Mallory: it better
[10:36] hobbes8u: It better. I am extremely sad Jake is not coming because I love that man deeply
[10:36] Mallory: :(
[10:37] Mallory: he’s working or something right?
[10:37] hobbes8u: He has to train
[10:38] Mallory: oh right
[10:38] Mallory: pfft.
[10:38] Mallory: loser.
[15:32] Kevin: I’ll see you in a few hours :)
[15:32] hobbes8u: Alrighty
[18:46] hobbes8u: BECCA?????
[18:46] hobbes8u: are you around somewhere
[18:47] hobbes8u: anywhere at all??
Well Kevin got me at 7pm and we went to his house to get Becca(Who was supposedly meeting us to go to the movies). He calls Mallory on the freeway to tell him we are on the way(Quite a bit early to call her I thought) Pull into his driveway where Becca’s car is. I think why isn’t she outside waiting for us? She’s just going to walk in Kevin’s house when he’s not there. We don’t honk for her to come outside, instead Kevin gets out of the car and goes in the house, so I follow him. I am looking at the wall when I hear a loud girl screaming. I think, “Why the hell is Becca so excited to see me for? (Especially since she has practically ignored all of my text messages and IMs all week long)” I look up and everyone’s there yelling surprise. Tifany(not at work), Mallory(not at the studio), Jake(not training people he can’t get out of doing) plus a whole hell of a lot more people. Sara, Tyler, Brooks, Matt, Jeremy(not me, the other Jeremy), Becca, and Kevin of course. I was shocked. All that work I did planning the evening and everyone just let me. Playing along. And I printed coupons. COUPONS!!
But I had the funnest weekend ever. Thanks so much everyone! Especially Mallmsy and Tifany for planning and decorating. And Kevin for playing host and taxi. Plus Tifany made a boobs cake. So very great!!
10. A new fashion trend, Dick Cheney-skin boots.
9. Avocados are on sale 4 for $1.00.
8. Just got rid of the clap.
7. Angelina Jolie’s dreams of collecting one child from each country foiled when South Africa tells her to bugger off.
6. Soda’s all gone.
5. Your father never loved you.
4. Russell Crowe and Naomi Campbell have first annual telephone throw down. Both die from fatal dialing injuries.
3. You have the brew shakes.
2. God finally reveals himself to be real just so he can disassociate himself from George W Bush.
1. Two words: Breakdancing Jake
To know Jake Meeks is like having a refrigerator with one of those ice makers in the door with the kind of crushed ice you can only find in bowling alleys. It’s a good thing. Read his great blog here.
Salsa Con Dios.