What The Hell Does Rant Mean?

So here’s the cake Shar and I made for my niece, Sheridee’s wedding.

READ THIS WHOLE THING BEFORE PROGRESSING PLEASE SO YOU DON’T MESS YOURSELF UP!!

Go to this website for the next clue once you find the answers: 123.com. Replace each number in this website with the answer to the clue of the same number.

(For example, if the answers to clues 1, 2 and 3 were blue, suede and shoes you would go to bluesuedeshoes.com for the next clue)

1. The first word of the #17 song from the soundtrack of the movie this synopsis is about: A troubled teenager is plagued by visions of a large bunny rabbit that manipulates him to commit a series of crimes, after narrowly escaping a bizarre accident.

2. Marilyn Monroe’s last movie - Look it up in wikipedia(English version) and once on the page of that movie click on 3.2 in the contents box. This will bring you to a heading in the entry.Under that heading, In the sixth sentence of the only paragraph under that heading, what’s the last word in the sentence?

3. “Actor A” who played #33 on AFI’s Top 50 Villians of all time - “Actor B” portrayed “Actor A” in a 1994 film - “Actor B” at seventeen was a cartoonist for a newspaper. What’s the third word in the name of the newspaper?

The Vice presidential debate was a treat.  I loved that Joe Biden showed some emotion when taking about raising two boys as a single father.  And when he said “John McCain is not a maverick” over and over.  That was great.  And watching Sarah Palin respond to the questions.  Here is a flow chart to how she responds.  Thanks Daily Kos.  I think also missing from the flow chart is where she mentions energy.  What are your thoughts on the debate?  Who do you side with?

Yes I love Shirley Q Liquor. She makes me laugh hard. And yes I’m stolen her material before. That’s how I roll. But without further ado.

Shirley Q. Liquor’s
ASTROLOGICAL FO’CAST

AQUARIUS: You are so bull-headed, quit tellin’ people what da do. You such a control freak - tha’s yo’ prollem.

PISCES: All yo’ recent lies and secrets is fitt’na come out honey, like the Ken Starr Report. You better hire you a Lawyer.

VIRGO: Today is not a day to go around puttin’ yo white glove in people houses to see if it be clean or not. Go clean yo own tub fo’ a change.

LEO: Leo the depressed. Have you taken yo, uh, nerve medication this week? Because er’body be wonderin’.

CANCER: Caowncer, wich’ yo moon faced, moody self - go ahead on and hang up on people den. Stay home - see if anybody care.

GEMINI: Ginimye, Ginimye With all the snickers bars and the 72 oz big gulp pepsi cola in each hand talkin bout why did I become diabetical.  You need to quit.

SAGGITARIUS: Saginnarus which’ yo bad taste. Today is a good day fo’ you to head out to K-Mark or Wal-Mark and buy you some 3 dollar shoes!

CAPRICORN: Capreesha-corn. All Capric-corsha-corns is a chemical dependindancy, dis’ is a well known fack, but it is yo’ cheapness ‘dat is gonna hurt you today. Go ahead, spend a dolla.

ARIES: Ay-reez, all ‘dem notes you been writing to yo’self about yo’ diet - because you is a diet FREAK, is ficken’a be found. And somebody gonna go through yo diet peels. (pills)

TAURUS: Toe-russ, who ever you is, you be sleepin’ wit’ other people husbands - and you’er wrong fo’ dat.

LIBRA: Libra is the most IGNENT of all the Astrological Fo’cast. Today is a bad day fo’ Libra. Yo’ car will probly flood out, yo’ brakes is gonna fail and yo’ driver license is gonna git revoke. But that have never stop you in da’ pass. (past)

SCORPIO: Scorpicko, yo’ sex crazy ways are ficken’a be told - er’body be knowin’ what you be durrin’ (doing) because you are too ignent not to be coverin’ yo’ tracks.

This is Shirley Q. Liquor. Lucky in da’ Stars! Bye Hunnie!

Inspired by Mallory’s great post today, I had a letter myself to write.

Dear Facebook,

I totally regret confiding in you. I told you I was gay and now you are trying to hook me up with every gay service possible. You splash the sides of my browser with half naked men. Atlantis All-gay Cruises! Find products for USA Men! A Gay take on pop culture! Come out! Grand opening!(Well not so much that one) Thanks for your subtle reminders. I GET IT. I’M GAY!!! Jeezy creezy!

Love,

Jeremy

P.S. I’m also getting tired of you making me invite everyone to everything.

Sarah and I occasionally talk about making greeting cards.  We’ve had some killer ideas.  Which unfortunately you are not lucky enough to hear about it. :P  My point is there needs to be more greeting cards for revenge or to tell people off or just to fit the occasion.  In particular these cards would have been came in handy at some point in my life.

1. Sorry.  I was really drunk when I broke that.

2. I have never liked that fruit salad you keep bringing to parties.

3. Stop asking me how your new clothes look on you.  THEY’RE TIGHT.  If you want your backfat out there for everyone to see then wear it, but don’t ask me about it.  EVER. AGAIN.

4. You once told me it’s hard to be your friend but you believe it is worth it.  Well, it’s not.

5. Thank you for laying me off you asshole.

These are a few.  What are some of your “the perfect” greeting card ideas?

I haven’t really blogged in a very very long time. This is because I don’t care for it. I mainly feel pressured to blog. People all over in my life continually ask me to blog.  Which is not to say I don’t love pleasing people.  I love that part of it.   So I’m coming out of hiding for a minute to say this. I saw a new feminine hygiene commercial. With these ladies getting off a plane I think? Well another lady, who is off the plane to great them, is talking to one of the ladies, Jackie. She says, “Hello Jackie.” Jackie sees here and unpleasantly says, “Mother Nature? Great!” Mother Nature continues, “Here with your monthly gift.” She holds out a red wrapped present. A RED WRAPPED PRESENT!! Then Jackie is like, “Yeah I don’t need you.” And she turns her purse, WHICH IS SEE THROUGH PLASTIC, to show Mother Nature her pearl tampons up against the plastic like a kitten in a pet store window. Why is this girl showing off her tampons?? I’m never known such a girl. AND THE RED PRESENT??? wow! And still everytime I see this commercial I chuckle.

We just got two new kittens last weekend.  They’re still not named yet.  I don’t want to go for the usual pet name.  I want to name them after some literary, film, or television character.  Any ideas?  Please let me know.  So far we have Fry and Bender, maybe Kwanzabot(call him bot, I know. silly.)(Futurama) Um Tim and Eric(though these names lack), sigh.  C’mon people help me out here.  Here they are.  And no they aren’t the same cat.  They are both male.  So please suggest.  Get creative.

For New Years, I spent the evening at Jake and Becca’s house where I always have a room.  Hee hee.  Well needless to say I drank plenty of Jager.  A lot.  But I only drank Jager.  I went to bed fine.  Feeling great.  I wake up in the morning.  Oh dear.  I had inadvertently taken everything out of the nightstand drawer and sicked into the drawer.  I have no recollection of this, but it’s not a very fun way to wake up to the New Year.  Maybe this is a sign I should add no more drink to my list of resolutions.  Quite frankly though, I hate the fact people make resolutions on a specific day of the year when they can just make them anytime.  It’s really just an excuse to misbehave as much as possible during the holidays and “repent” for the New Year’s.  But I guess people need religion in all forms.

Melissa shared this hilarious Canadian public service announcement with me. Enjoy!