Melissa shared this hilarious Canadian public service announcement with me. Enjoy!

Day 25

Guess my 25th favorite Christmas movie from a screenshot of the film. Remember the post title is also a quote from the movie. Only your first guess counts. Send your guess to jeremy@whatthehelldoesrantmean.com. Also make sure to comment this post so your guess counts. A point for the first to correctly guess the film or special. The person with the most points at the end of the contest gets a $50 Borders Gift Card for the new year.  [UPDATE] to make it more fair the winner will get three points and everyone else who guesses right gets one point.  Only your first guess counts]

A Christmas Memory

My mom had ordered a bunch of toys that came in a great big cardboard box. She had warned us children not to look inside the box for fear of her wrath. Well hello…Pandora here. You don’t say things like that. I peeked almost as soon as she had left the room. Inside was a treasure chest of delights. I was so excited for Christmas! A few days later we were strolling down the aisle at Grand Central(Fred Meyer’s predecessor). There on the shelf was one of the toys from inside the box. I was filled with joy at the prospect of having new things to play with. I blurted out, “You got one of those, mommy.” As soon as I saw her eyes narrowing I knew what I had done. Needless to say, I never saw that toy again.

Earn two points by posting on your own blog about my Christmas contest or advent calendar and email me the link to check it. These bonus points will go towards your total in the contest. You may only do this once. Good luck everyone!

Corinne found this site to make some great snowflakes. They have a bunch of patterns and the snowflakes turn out awesome.

For Christmas I am going to do Countdown Advent calendar posts starting at 25 days. Corresponding with these I am counting down my 25 favorite ranked Christmas movies starting with the 25th one. So each day the title of the post will be a quote from the movie and there will be a shot from the movie. You will need to email me your guesses at jeremy at whatthehelldoesrantmean dot com. To qualify you must email me and also comment the post. DO NOT post the answer in comments as this will disqualify you for that point. The first email I receive with the right answer and who has commented that day gets a point. One guess per day please. If you guess more than once the first guess is the only one that counts, so make it count. The answer will appear in the next day’s post. The person with the most points at the end gets a New Years gift(a $50 Border’s gift card).  [UPDATE] to make it more fair the winner will get three points and everyone else who guesses right gets one point.  Only your first guess counts]  There will also be Christmas stories, links to fun things, games, etc. As well as my usual news if there is any. So get excited. It’ll be a fun Christmas. The madness will start tomorrow!!

[16:37] hobbes8u: so you know what term I love
[16:37] hobbes8u: doll face
[16:39] Sarah: lol
[16:39] Sarah: ew, really?
[16:39] Sarah: that… is unfortunate.
[16:40] hobbes8u: I knew you wouldn’t be pleased
[16:40] Sarah: lol
[16:40] Sarah: it just sounds something that like a sleazy bar fly would call someone.
[16:40] hobbes8u: I don’t know why it was the fact that you would be displeased made me feel I had to be honest about it and tell you as soon as I thought about it
[16:41] Sarah: lol
[16:41] Sarah: or maybe a prostitute’s john would call her that.
[16:41] hobbes8u: no no no
[16:41] hobbes8u: I am retaking the name doll face to mean something different
[16:42] hobbes8u: like you are freaking adorable
[16:42] hobbes8u: a.k.a. you are a doll face
[16:42] hobbes8u: you see what I mean
[16:42] Sarah: …
[16:42] Sarah: okay
[16:42] Sarah: but still
[16:42] Sarah: i give doll face a big “meh”
[16:43] hobbes8u: yeah but I’m thinking 40’s soda shop musical doll face not piss drunk screw you in the alley doll face
[16:44] Sarah: lol
[16:44] Sarah: even in the 40s musical soda shop, it was the boy who flirted with all the girls that called you doll face.
[16:44] Sarah: right after he selected a song from the jukebox.
[16:45] hobbes8u: yeah but the most harmful he got was doing the jitterbug
[16:45] hobbes8u: not doing your jitterbug
[16:46] Sarah: HA
[16:46] Sarah: nice balls, jeremy.

I am addicted to the TravelPod Traveler IQ Challenge application on facebook.  It may be taking over my life.  It’s all I can think about sadly.  So if you’re talking to me and my eyes are slightly glazed over I’m probably not listening to you.  I’m probably thinking okay so Zaire is no longer a country and Now there is a new Canadian province and a new 5th ocean.  And Indonesia is an assload of islands.  Actually according to the definition of assload, Indonesia is 437.7 assloads of islands.  It’s a fun game for geography nerds.  CAUSE KNOWLEDGE IS POWER!!(said like a public service announcement with enthusiasium)

A gem from Desiree.

[15:55] Desiree: I could not hold a straight face this past week
[15:55] Desiree: tyler’s sister’s kid loves Shrek…just loves him
[15:55] Desiree: watches the DVD’s all day long
[15:55] Desiree: but…she can’t say his name…so she says “Cock”
[15:56] Desiree: and says it A LOT
[15:56] Desiree: and everywhere
[15:56] Desiree: whether it was to the check out lady or whoever is around
[15:56] Desiree: she’ll say “Cock?”
[15:56] Desiree: as kind of a question
[15:56] Hobbes8u: HAHAHAHA
[15:56] Hobbes8u: I love it
[15:56] Desiree: I laughed a lot
[15:57] Desiree: the kid did it at church too

I heard this exchange between two strangers on the bus.

One guy: Hey, your shirt’s on backwards.

Other guy: (Confused)Shrek’s gone back here?

Fine here’s your ballsin’ post. These are in no particular order. And yet I’ve numbered them. Strange!

10. All-Clad Cookware Set

9. Classic Shun Knife Set

8. Oh My God Shoes

7. These books: Larousse Gastronomique, also The Dangerous Book For Boys, The Daring Book For Girls, and Stephen Colbert’s I Am America(And So Can You! mentioned from a previous post

6. These games: TCM Scene-It, Cranium: WOW, Family Feud, Blokus, and Cineplexity

5. This Chemistry Kit. WHAT? SO WHAT! I like toys okay!!

4. The Aerogarden with all the different seed packs

3. Carniverous Creations Terrarium

2. Pajamas one of each top and bottom set: Stewie, Flintstones, and Cartman

1. These DVD’s: The Pink Panther Cartoon Collection, Make Mine Music, The Jazz Singer 3-Disc Special Edition, and A Clockwork Orange 2-Disc Special Edition

There. I said it. Ladies and Gentlemen this is your post for the day.

You may have heard me tell this joke while I’m drinking, no?  It comes from Drew Carey’s book “Dirty Jokes and Beer:  Stories of the Unrefined“.  For your pleasure, the joke in question.

There’s a guy who lives in Ohio. One morning, he hears a voice in his head. The voice says, “Quit your job, sell your house, take all your money, and go to Las Vegas.”

He ignores the voice.

Later in the day, he hears the voice again. “Quit your job, sell your house, take all your money, and go to Las Vegas.”

Again, he ignores the voice.

Soon he hears the voice every minute of the day. “Quit your job, sell your house, take all your money, and go to Las Vegas.”

He can’t take it anymore. He believes the voice. He quits his job, sells his house, takes all his money, and flies to Las Vegas. As soon as he steps off the plane, the voice says, “Go to Caesar’s Palace.”

He goes to Caesar’s Palace.

The voice says, “Make your way to the roulette table.”

He goes to the roulette table.

The voice says, “Put all your money on red 23.”

He puts all his money on red 23.

The dealer spins the wheel. It comes up black 17.

The voice says, “Fuck.”