The Candywoman Can
My Grandma died tonight. She didn’t make the headlines. She wasn’t well known. She wasn’t America’s sweetheart. She didn’t change the world. But she was real. She told you like it is. She had a smoky cackle. She had hair like Ursula, the sea witch, and a voice to match. She said God damn with the best of them. She wasn’t drop dead gorgeous with a body that wouldn’t quit. But her hugs were forever and healing. She baked the best bread. In her time she was a great golfer and bowler. She had some funny moments. At our house one morning she mistook a can of Dow bathroom cleaner for aerosol hairspray. She came running out of the bathroom with a foaming head of hair, cursing away. She wasn’t a fan of the buzzer in a Taboo game. She used to wear hooker red lipstick and her cigarettes, when she smoked, had lovely magenta tips. Ah, she was grand. Everyone loved my grandmother. She did so much for everyone around her. She made delicious bottled green beans, and she threw the Yahtzee dice far. She would sing Mairzy Doats and The Three Little Fishies to the delight of her grandchildren. No she wasn’t famous, but she was someone. And I loved her.
Maybe she did change the world.
Grandma Dorthy Irene Stewart April 9, 1929-October 2, 2007 I love you, lady.
October 3rd, 2007 at 2:28 pm
This is just beautiful, Jeremy. What a tribute. I’m truly sorry for your loss.
October 3rd, 2007 at 4:29 pm
I am SO sorry Jeremy. I know your grandma must have loved you and I can tell how much she meant to you. We love you and miss you and hope you are well.
October 3rd, 2007 at 4:50 pm
I MISS YOU JEREMY!! Sorry about your gramma. I’m sure she was happy to have a grandson who loved her so much:)
Love,
Lissy
October 3rd, 2007 at 4:52 pm
I’m so sorry to hear about your Grandmother, Jeremy. She sounds like a wonderful woman, who gave lots of joy in her life. In my opinion, there is no greater purpose.
A beautiful Tribute. We miss you here, and our thoughts are with you.
October 3rd, 2007 at 4:55 pm
Thanks for the tears! What a great tribute. I’m sorry for your loss. We’re thinking of you.
love,
Dorise
October 3rd, 2007 at 4:57 pm
Sorry to hear about your grandma. You are in our thoughts.
-Brett
October 3rd, 2007 at 4:59 pm
“She didn’t change the world.”
There would be no Jeremy Jacobson without her. So in effect, she did change the world by allowing you to be a part of our lives.
October 4th, 2007 at 8:30 pm
Aw, this was the sweetest, Jeremy. I’m sure she’s very proud.
October 4th, 2007 at 11:54 pm
firstly:
oh jeremy. i love you. and i’ve loved hearing about your awesome grandma. and i’m so sorry that she’s gone–i’m sorry for the loss. she made the world better.
secondly:
please write my obituary when i die.
thirdly:
i just adore you.
October 5th, 2007 at 3:27 pm
No woman can take the place of a grandmother, and I envy the fact you got to spend time with yours. Know that she loves you, and always will. That you’ll always be loved.. not just by this divine woman you write about, but by us as well. We love you Jeremy <3