What The Hell Does Rant Mean?

My Father, Harvey Lonnie Jacobson, was born April 24, 1947. He is 60 years old today. Happy Birthday to him. Without him, you would not have this extreme time-waster to read. So……

Alarm Buzzes Loudly
Jeremy’s Ears: Someone shut that damn thing off.
Jeremy’s Brain: Be careful just to push snooze. Remember when we turned it off that one time and fell back asleep. Then we had to lie and tell the boss the power went out so the alarm never went off.
Ears: SOMEONE GET THAT ALARM OFF!! LEGS!!!
Legs: Alright, alright. Let me hit the snooze with my big toe. I don’t know why we have to sleep upside down in the bed.
Right Big Toe: Be Careful Legs. I don’t want to get caught on something.
Legs: Yeah, yeah. Just do your job and I’ll do mine.
Alarm stops.
Body relaxes once more.
Bladder: Hey let’s not get too comfortable. I’ve been holding a copious amount of urine all night long, and I can’t hold it much longer.
Legs: DAMN IT!! If the throat hadn’t been so dry and whiny before we went to bed last night we wouldn’t be in this mess.
Throat: Hey, if you want to dehydrate you go right on ahead and do it, but don’t complain to me when we have to go to the emergency room.
Brain: Alright everyone. Shut up and let’s do this. Ab muscles, pull the upper body into a sitting position.
Ab’s: Ah man, We’re too fat. We need to start exercising more.
Brain: We’ll talk about it later. Just pull us up now before we wazz all over the sheets
Ab’s: Fine! All right. PULL! C’mon everyone. PULL!!
Brain: K, Legs. Take us to the bathroom.
Legs: Here we go. Walk, walk, walk.
Hands: Here, I’ll get the seat for you.
Penis: fonvoe gerrt ih we.
Brain: Hands, can you get the pajamas and the underwear down.
Hands: I was about to. Like I don’t know how to do this by now.
Penis: Finally! I said hurry up here. Bladder’s about to lose it. (PAUSE) HELLO?? Could I get a little help here?
Right Hand: (Shutters) Okay, okay. I don’t know why you can’t learn to aim yourself.
Brain: Would you just hurry up.
Right Hand: Okay back off.
Penis: Alright bladder, let her go. HEY!! Watch out right hand! That rug is brand new.
Eyes: (Sarcastically)Well that’s a nice first view of the day.
Right Hand: Well excuse me. It’s a little early in the morning. Forgive me for not being peppy and alert.
Penis: Well I’m just saying you’re the one who’s going to have to clean it up. Don’t forget to flush.
Right Hand: I won’t. I’m putting him away. You know, there’s a reason you’re hidden behind clothes.
Penis: Oh why don’t you just eat sh(pants are back up)
Right Hand: HA!
Brain: Well we might as well just stay up now.
Legs, Arms, Torso: Screw you! Shut your yap.
Ass: Bite me!